[Filter: Private]

This is all ridiculous.

After what I left behind in Azudesce, I don't have the damned time to be worrying about who's trying to get into my bed. This is closer to being caught than I've ever been. If he knew that I was in Aeda, Dragons only know what else he could know. I should be running constant damage control senarios, here, trying to get a real plan for the future.

Except that all of that feels so out of focus, and far away, and if I even think about it, I -- panic.

I hate that he still has this much power over me. That the thought of being caught, hauled in, brought before him so he can look down on me and judge me makes me so fucking upset that it's

That I need a little personal drama in my life to try and make it all fit.

I wonder. Was it because of Aubrecia? Was it some mistake I made while worrying myself about her that made me slip up? It wouldn't surprise me. It's what I expected from the start ...

[Filter: Ash]

Alright, my lookout has been mirror signaling for about an hour, here, and we've got a cove we can put in at and finish out resupply, get ready for a long haul out on the water. It's a little smuggler's cove, drop-off point, whatnot. The man who runs it is a decent enough fellow, though a bit of a crook, for the cut he demands to be able to use it.

I'm letting you know all this because I think it would be best for everyone if you stayed on board. I know you're probably getting cabin fever, but there are a lot of sailors around here, and most of them haven't seen a woman in a good, long while. If you think Palmer was bad ...

If I didn't know better, I'd say this new guy is coming onto me.

Which is flattering, and all. He's a handsome fellow and I like Megami accents, and he's a burly sort of guy. Different from what I've had lately. I'd take him up on it, except that I can't believe he's really meaning something by all of this. It's common knowledge on this boat that I've already got a bedwarmer, and I'm not going to be putting a wreath of flowers on his head, sure, but I certainly don't damn well need my crew fighting amongst one another over who gets to crawl up beside me at night.

It figures, really. You go years without getting a bite, and then all of a sudden, everyone wants you.

[Filter: Private]

Dammit.

Dammit all to hell. I knew there was something wrong when this silk wouldn't all sell right away, Dragons, I knew it. But there I was, high on my good fortune with the new crewman, and I couldn't even --

Damn it all to hell.

You've figured it out, haven't you, Father? That's why it took so long to get wind of your current trade, why not of it sat quite right. You finally figured out what I was doing and you set me up.

And you're just going to keep on making my life difficult, aren't you? Marking where I go, leaving more complete descriptions of me with patrols, and trying to get ahead of me every single chance you get.

Well.

Well, I've learned to play this game better than you ever knew, and I have an advantage: I don't follow your precious rules.

This might be check, but it's far from checkmate.

But one thing is for sure ... if he's planned this out so well, he's done more. I need to get myself and my boat out of this port before someone reports back to him with more details that I can afford to spare.

[Filter: Ash]

Pack up. We're hauling out with next tide.

Well, Festival joy all around! Looks like I might have found someone to replace my least promising new crewman without even looking very hard. Seems like a hard-working, promising young fellow. And not too hard on the eyes, either, which never hurts.

Love it when things fall right into place.

[Filter: Private]

And dumb hunches are just that.

[Filter: Private]

Consensus seems to be that hunches are reliable! I was hoping for one person to tell me I'm being ridiculous.

What the hell can I do, though? Dragons.

[Filter: Ash]

So you know, we're landing in Azudesce in about a week. We're probably not going to be staying too long, just selling, buying, and getting out. I've got the heeby-jeebies about something, though I can't place what.

May need to replace one or two of their new crewmen, too. Ewig is useless.

[Filter: Private]

Everything is going miraculously well for me right now.

So why can't I shake this feeling?

No, that's probably why I can't shake this feeling. I'm used to trying to avoid collateral damage and just barely stay ahead of my life. When everything goes well, it's a sign as much as anything.

But still, most likely? It's nothing. And silly, to boot.

[Filter:

So who here believes in hunches?

Right, sorry, I know that everyone's been waiting with bated breath, but I've just been having too much sex to bother informing everyone that things worked out exactly as I planned.

One thing that always has to be said of a dry spot, it's so much better when you start going again.

I just thought I would inform the journals at large that I intend to get laid tonight, and if I don't, I may jump off the side of this boat, because it's been over two years.

Bringing silks from Dentoria to Megam seems like an excercise in futility. I'm fairly sure that most silk is spun in Megam. It feels like going to Floran with a hold brimming with potatoes, or heading to Razen with a full load of carpets. Who's going to pay travel and shipping costs for something you can get in your backyard?

Never try to understand the market, I suppose, because I tend to make sales following the trade winds no matter how illogical the bargain.

Though this time, it does seem

[Filter: Private]

Oh, he can't be serious.

[Filter: Public]

Alright, then, let me give this a try. It's Wednesday, isn't it? And I don't see any question up, yet, so ... let me just wade right in here.

First times. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Who was it with, when was it, how old were you, you know, just give the full anecdote. And for those of you unfortunates who haven't yet tasted the that particular fruit, how about you tell us what your ideal image of it is. Ideal place, ideal time, ideal lover.

Don't be prudes, now, come on forth.

[Filter: Private]

And there we are, the last scrap that Aeda has tried its damndest to wrestle away from me. Not so fast, Aeda, I am much better at this game.

Silks, this time, Father? So predictable. Always comfort, isn't it?

Though I have to wonder ... just why has it been this hard to find out?

Hm, no matter.

[Filter: Ash]

Looks like we can finally be on our way. Azudesce is always nice this time of year.

[Filter: Private]

I really need to get out of the city.

Thank you so dragonsdamned much, Palmer, you fantastic son of a bitch, for making my life a little more difficult.

[Filter: Ash]

Well, alright.

With the five others we've ferreted out -- which is a real pain in the ass, Dragons, some of those are useful -- I think I have enough prospects to fill the ranks again. About eight I'm looking at that I need to narrow down. Too many cooks, and all of that.

I'm also going to need to promote someone to my first officer, but that's going to be a damned nightmare.

I know you don't have much input here, but I just need a sounding board.

I hate hiring. You never know just who you can trust. Times like this I almost want to go legal.

[Filter: Private]

This is just not a good place to look for new crewmen.

Everything hits a little too close to home, doesn't it? Huh. I could take an hour out of my schedule and walk right up to my house. Father knows I'm out there. He could have every sailor's pub in the city seeded with his men, looking to get close to me. Maybe even in the same way Jasen was. Yeah, that would suit his perfect ideals of justice, wouldn't it?

But maybe they don't even have that place anymore. With me two steps ahead of every single business venture they've undertaken, maybe they've had to downsize a bit.

There's a nice thought. Mother in last season's fashions, David and Caelin on the receiving end of Father's frustration, and Darnya about to be married off to a dusty old man with a conveniently big purse.

Yeah, that makes it all worthwhile.

I just need to be careful and not trust anyone. I'm good at that. Or, at least, I

[Filter: Ash]

You can't be serious.

[Filter: Ash]

... are you all right? You've been a little ... off, lately.

[Filter: Private]

Right.

[Filter: Ash]

Well. I read your little tirade on the Wednesday entry.

This needs to stop.

[Filter: Private]

This is just getting ridiculous.

I might want to start thinking about doing something about it. Dragons, one would think that after the last time I hauled them together by their ears, they settled it all like adults.

Too much to hope, I suppose.

[Filter: Ash]

Alright.

We're resolving this. Today.

[Filter: Ash]

Here's a question I've been wondering.

How much do I still have to hide you? Obviously, Megam is going to be an issue, but how safe is Razen, now?

... and while we're at it, what exactly is up with you and Palmer? He got cranky as all get out when I finally decided I should ask him. Will I have better luck with you?